Look Up!

I once heard it said that 'to turn the other cheek' actually means something more along the lines of 'shifting your perspective.' I guess that concept has always stuck with me.  And you know, it really does make sense.  It isn't so much an idea that you ought to just bend over and take it (sorry for that analogy) but rather, a sort of pause and extension of grace to consider the world as you know it from maybe a slightly different perspective.

What would we see differently if we turned our cheek? Even the literal physical movement of where we set our gaze tremendously influences our perspective of the world around us. 

I know this to be true; especially after living here in New York City for the past two months.  

When things are great, I look up... way up.  When I look up this high, I see birds zipping between buildings amid a back drop of puffy pink clouds and reflective glass panes.  That is when it feels amazing to be here. 

And when the days are more on the average side of life, I cast my gaze straight ahead. I move forward with purpose and some measure of focus.  I move along with the steady flow of life here and I get the job done.  I am neither especially high nor especially low. Those are pretty good days too. 

I spend a significant amount of time walking.  I am outside in the fresh air... sometimes in a complete trance.  Each day, I walk from place to place, bombarded by the zillion and one crazy thoughts I have going on in my mind at any given moment. And oftentimes, the more stressed out I am, the lower my gaze falls. 

On those days, where I was so tired, so beat up and on the verge of throwing in the towel, I can't help but acknowledge how much my perspective was influenced by the way I held my gaze... to the concrete.  It seemed that New York and I were/are a bit at odds about how exactly I am meant to live here.  And what I was beginning to see wasn't all that glitzy anymore...

What I haven't been able to write about for a good while now,  is just how difficult it has proven to be to make a life in this city. I am still without my own address.  I am living with friends who have sacrificed their own personal space, so that I may find my own little corner of this city to eventually call my own.  

I have been struggling with this process more than I can even begin to describe. I was so close to booking a flight out of here a week ago, that I practically had the exit strategy in full swing.  

Walking along my normal route, with my head tilted downward, I saw dirt, grime, poverty, trash, bubble gum, cigarettes, excrement (human and animal); all beneath the the crunching sound of the bones of my bruised feet. 

But then, I remembered that little New Yorker on my shoulder (he's a lawyer and curses frequently) saying "Look up. Adriane, LOOK THE FUCK UP!" 

I am then pulled away from staring at my feet and the concrete below and suddenly, even if only for a moment, I actually do look (the fuck) UP.

In that moment, you realize how so much of life (and how we experience it) is expressed through the lens we choose to look through. 

I suppose I just wanted to share this with you all today.  If you are facing something that is requiring a lot from you, perhaps it is wise to take a moment to consider a shift in perspective.  The world is comprised of many layers and factors.  And if you cannot see your way out of whatever crap that is tempting your demise or failure, then remember to look up; before you know it, so too will everything else.  

No more back up plans or exit strategies.  I am not leaving this city until I've accomplished whatever it is that brought me here to begin with. So with that settled, I'd say that things are definitely looking up. 

Today:

Spicy Margarita

1 oz Tequila

1/2 oz Triple Sec

Splash of Sour Mix

Sprig of fresh Cilantro

1/3 small red chili 

muddle gently and shake ingredients

Salt Rim and a Lime Wedge!