Substance Abuse

I have a shocking confession.  This morning, much to my dismay, I did not pour myself my usual cup.  Perhaps there are just some moments in life when you need to look in the mirror and recognize when there is a problem.

Yesterday, after my regular dose of daily brewed wonderment, I couldn't help but notice how my hands shook over the black keys of my macbook.  What is wrong with me?? My stomach had burned and ached for the past week.  There was a steady pinch in my lower back, in what I presumed to be my kidney. And I have had a harder time falling asleep at night.  

And then yesterday happened.  The shakes wouldn't subside until nearly three o'clock in the afternoon. It was bad...

Now, as I have mentioned before, I am no stranger to when it comes to spotting someone with a problem.  When you pour drinks as a means of making a living, there are certain tell-tale signs you look for; especially among the 'regulars.'

When these bar-flies overstay their welcome, you have to swat them away with relentless vigor and tenacity.  While you may be tempted by the thought of a few extra dollars, you ultimately have to look out for the person's best interest and just say no.   

And so, with as much self discipline as I could muster, I turned away from my normal routine and beloved breakfast blend.  

Ladies and gentlemen, friends and readers: today, I have made the heart wrenching switch from my most favorite beverage in the world, coffee, to what will have to suffice until I can hopefully recover... Today, as I type my daily offering, I sip a cup of (brace yourselves) hot tea.  

I really don't know how I feel about this decision.  I think, for some reason, the coffee I couldn't seem to function without, turned on me suddenly.  I could no longer ignore the cold hard truth anymore.  I needed to be cut off.  

I have to be honest, I don't enjoy my hot tea nearly as much as my coffee.  In fact, I am baffled that an entire country could have such strong affection for it.  They even delegated an entire afternoon around the ritual of tea time.  Amazing. 

I wonder... could this be the start of something new?  Will the bittersweet herbs and leaves of black, white and green teas ever grow on me the way the richly bold flavor won my heart long ago? I don't know.  I'm willing to give it a shot though, seeing as how my physical body is protesting the coffee addiction.  

I do not want to wake up one day, with a hole in my stomach, yellow stained teeth, and a dried out complexion due to consistent abuse of my beloved drink: coffee. 

The honorable thing to do, is to take a step back and sip on something a little more gentle and refined.  Ugh, who am I kidding?? I am desperately missing my coffee right now.  

But I do not condone substance abuse.  And so, here begins the first step.  I need to detox.  I am in recovery, one day at a time.  No more coffee... for at least a few days. 

Until then, you may not want to tailgate my car, cut in front of me in the grocery lines, or even ask me to operate heavy machinery... No sir, the next few days may not be too pretty. 

Consider yourselves warned.  This girl has been severely decaffeinated. And it's shaping up to be a pretty rough day.  

Today:

Espresso Martini

1 oz chilled Espresso

1 oz Vodka

1 oz Kahlua

1/2 oc White Creme de Cacao

Shake and strain.