It's a hustle. The alarm goes off and almost instantaneously, the countdown begins. Gotta get up! OH NO, IT'S FRIDAY. Yuck! As the clock ticks relentlessly, I roll out of bed, stagger to the coffee pot, fire up a few brain cells and sit down to write.
Write about what?? Oh gosh, who knows?? The truth is, ideas pop into my head just as soon as I wake up. They are spontaneous little bursts of wonder and analysis that I surrender to each and every day; all the while, keeping one watchful eye on that damn ticking clock.
3-2-1 FRIDAY
I must admit that lately, I have been unable to silence the little voice inside my head that is counting down the weeks, days, hours and minutes to liftoff. Only two more Weekends to serve at this job before... Oh I don't know, whatever else is next!
Decisions, Decisions... I've had it in my heart and mind to go to New York come fall, and as the slightest hint of the changing season casts a rosy hue to the very tips of the maples, I am reminded of one thing: the ever oppressive passing of time. I look at the date on the calendar, and then to the hour this Friday morning and I sigh: Yes, I do believe it's almost time...
And for as much awareness that I possess of the passing time, I do however, attempt to live for the present moment and enjoy the here and now.
Is there any way to get my hands on a little more time in a given day? When looking back to generations past, didn't they just seem to have more time? Great authors, painters, philosophers and homemakers alike, created masterful works within a seemingly small measure of time. Yet, the daily allowance for time remains the same. So what gives?
I woke up today and thought: two hours to write, respond to some pressing emails and phone calls if I have time, thirty minutes to get ready for work, thirty minutes to drive to work, and wait... Don't forget to eat lunch today! And then, as if the shot was fired high into the air, I was off and the race began.
I'm trying desperately to accomplish everything I need to do each day, but sadly, am finding less time to eat, sleep, drink and be merry. On more than one occasion, I have been known to not have enough time to eat a proper meal before work. And that my friends, is not a good thing.
Is our ability to maximize our time each day directly correlated to measuring (with skilled precision) each and every waking moment between rest and waking? Or is it possible to strike a balance and lose track of time, without also suffering the loss of productivity?
Shall I continue to sprint out the gate each morning as fast as humanly possible? Or, is it wiser instead to pace it out and take the long view? I wonder...
All I know is that the hyper awareness of the unforgiving passing of time and the process of distributing it according to each task, is utterly exhausting.
Why not just stop or slow down you might ask? Well, I guess it's like this: for as much as I aspire to achieve in my life, I fear that there just isn't enough time. It's the ultimate time bomb...
Time to create, time to enjoy, time to share, time to earn a dollar, time to move forward. It's about that time... And so with that, the countdown continues.
Today:
Irish Car Bomb
1/2 shot Bailey's Irish Cream
1/2 shot of Jameson Irish Whiskey
Drop the shot into a pint of Guinness
And lose track of time completely...
Photo credit: physicscentral.com
Times Square.
Wishing it wasn't time to go to work...
I guess time just happens sometimes. Being deliberate and careful seems to keep the time-bomb at bay. Not always, of course, but taking breathers and moments for resetting are stinkin' essential.
ReplyDeleteAnd when the ticking looms, louder and louder, get a mantra going - "aint gonna die... ain't gonna die... ain't gonna die..." That works for me more often than not.
Countdowns often fizzle into something less than the spectacle we dread or dream. Not that they result in failure, but they often aren't so dramatic as the drama as the numbers near zero-hour.
ReplyDeletewayne kiley1:36 PM1
Edit
Now you have done it! You have reminded me once again of the relevance of time. I have been preoccupied with the awareness of this thing I refer to as the "allocation" for the better part of my life.
None of us know what our allocation is as we embark on our earthly journey. It could be many years as in Michaelangelo's case. He lived to the ripe old age of 89. He needed that time and used it wisely. It took him 4 years to paint the Sistine Chapel and 3 years to complete the statue of David in Florence. He was focused!
Ecclesiastes 3:2 says, "To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to harvest."
I don't know how many funerals that I have attended where in that scripture was read. It has always made me think about my mortality and what I wished to accomplish within my "allocation."
As I was growing up I was keenly aware of how little time I would have to accomplish everything that I imagined that I wanted to partake of in the banquet table of life. Life...how precious...how sweet...how fleeting. I didn't feel that I would die young but was overwhelmed by the possibilities of travel, exploration....so many things to do, so much to see, so much to learn...so little time.
Before I reached the age of 21 I had already walked and hitchhiked around the entire world across Asia, Africa, Europe, Russia to return to my home in Michigan. I had to keep going, press on, don't quit, never quit..there is so little time.
In one of my Jr. College classes in California, I was required to do a term paper on, The Lovesong of J Alfred Prufrock by T S Elliott. It was a sonnet that was intended to characterize a fictional character's life. I think the intent was to show how procrastination and indecision became the essence of a man's life. J Alfred would say or think to himself, "there will be time, there well be time. The time is neither wrong nor right, there will be time, there will be time."
Wow! What a luke warm approach to life! Contemplating, aspiring, hoping, fantasies and dreaming are the fuel cells that help one travel for a time through time. I have sent copies of The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock to people that I care about over the years in an attempt to help them focus on how they wish to utilize their allocation of time, without procrastination or hesitation and or excuses.
Twenty years ago this week, my wife was planning a surprise 50th birthday party for me in California. She pulled it off successfully and I was surrounded by friends and family to help me celebrate my 50th birthday. I was talking to my wife this morning as we reflected on the past 20 years since that surprise party. As I approach my 70th birthday next week, there is no doubt that the past 20 years have been the most productive period of my life. I still love life and cherish the friends and family that are in my life. Time has not stood still nor have I. Life is not a futile race against time but rather the utilization of your allocation of moments to pursue your dreams in a substantive form of action.
In spite of all this I still feel guilt about taking an occasional nap in the afternoon. That is not a good thing. Now excuse me while I catch a nap before dinner with my wonderful wife and grandchildren and by all means, keep writing Adriane. Love Dad
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