For the sake of my sanity, I have settled upon an enthusiastic answer: YES it's completely normal!! I look around and realize that I am not alone in this struggle. Many people, most I would venture to guess, are not exactly living the life they'd imagined for themselves. Why is this? Well, perhaps it is because we live in relation to others and their choices and aspirations have a way of influencing our own.
We get so far along our path and realize that we've tweaked that picture to accommodate another person and all of their wants and needs. Factor in the relationship you may have with your family, your friends, significant others, employers etc. and all that space you had initially allocated for yourself is now seriously sublet by a few dozen demanding roommates.
The welcome mat to my mind reads a simple phrase: Life is Better When Shared. Even if the path looks different and that space gets crowded, it's a wonderful thing; making accommodations in your heart and mind for the ones you love.
At the same time, you'd better choose these roomies wisely. Taking up real estate in your head is a rather expensive transaction. What could it cost you in the end? Still thinking about that last sentence? That's okay, I am too.
How do you know when it's time to evict someone? That's a lengthy and emotionally taxing decision that only you, the landlord, can make.
All I know is this: you can only bend so much for another person (no matter their relation to you) before you break. The picture you see for yourself may not align with the one the other has painted... And unless you have mastered the art of photoshop completely, then I imagine that there is some serious restoration/remodeling to be done. Uh oh... I am mixing metaphors... Whatever, it's Sunday and on Sundays, anything goes.
Why am I on this subject to begin with you ask? Well let's just say that as I am sitting here drinking my coffee and reflecting, I can't help but feel so grateful for the extra space I have finally carved out in my brain. It was a mental renovation of sorts and has made all the difference in my life. Over the past ten years or so, I had repeatedly sacrificed what I envisioned for my life by committing all my energy to another person. I bent over to the breaking point and nearly lost sight of myself; the framework of my being.
As I watch the tug of war play out in the lives of the ones I love, I can't help but think back to the times in my life when I was faced with some incredibly difficult decisions. Releasing the grip on the rope that tugs you can be a scary thing to imagine. You get so accustomed to the rope, you sometimes forget that it's your own two feet holding you up. You can let go!
At this moment in time, I am happy to report that nearly all the occupants taking residence in my mind are all doing their fare share to maximize the space and help make improvements there. No one person has overstayed their welcome and I am enjoying the extra space I have to create, decorate, restore, write and thrive.
I hope that any future prospects looking to take up residence in my heart and mind will respect to a few simple house rules and respect the space I have worked so hard to create. My heart is my home. At this time, I am neither accepting nor rejecting applicants; rather, enjoying the view from my recently remodeled point of view. Peace of mind: the most exclusive real estate on the planet.
Today:
Adriane's French Chateau
1 oz Bombay Sapphire Gin
1/2 oz St. Germain Liqueur
Splash of Rose's Lime Juice
Splash of Sprite
On the Rocks!
Very true words! The only time is now, the only place is where you are, embrace the moment, it will never be again. You are learning the art of finding peace. Peace be with you. Love, Aunt Carol
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