Saturday, July 13, 2013

30... I Do.

For the past few months I have been mentally preparing for my exit from my twenties.  It's been a strange process of reflecting back on all that had transpired over the past decade.  All I can think of to sum up my twenties is this well known saying: "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans."

And suddenly, with the late June date rapidly approaching, I began to pull at the threads that were seemingly holding my little security blanket together.  One thread at I time. Before too long, I had unwoven a masterfully orchestrated tapestry that had been my life in Nashville.  Let's be clear. I love Nashville and every friendship I have made there. It is a beautiful and comfortable place to live.  It was where I had been living for the past five years. 

I first moved out there as a newlywed.  I had just married someone with whom I had made many plans for our future. We made a little home and a little life, just outside Nashville, TN.  It was a drastic change from the everyday hustle of Hollywood, where we lived before.  And in this quiet, country life, things began to fall apart.  

It doesn't matter why they fell apart. It hasn't mattered for a long time now.  The fact is, that road led me to meet so many amazing people and do so many awesome things. I was afraid of life beyond Nashville for a long time. I had picked up the pieces there and found so much love in so many unexpected places. I realized somewhere along the way that I am much stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. And that part feels good. The rest of it... not so good.  For better or worse, that is part of my story. 

And so, with my thirtieth birthday upon me, I felt a sort of self imposed pressure to step up to the plate. I felt like it was time... or almost time anyway, to make some changes.  It wasn't without many tears shed that I packed everything and left Nashville about seven weeks ago.  And the decision has not been an easy one.  Sometimes I wonder, what the hell I am doing?  

But two weeks ago it was time.  It was the day I had been thinking about since I turned twenty-nine last year.  I am thirty. 

One of the most poetic twists in this story happened to be a certain bottle of champagne that was given to me as a wedding present back in 2008 by my college roommate at Loyola Marymount University.  For the past five years, I have carried this bottle of champagne around.  Initially I had saved it for my fifth wedding anniversary.  So when I wasn't married anymore, I kept hauling around this special gift, hoping for just the right occasion to enjoy it. 

When I found out that my college roommate was going to come visit me on my birthday, I knew there would be nothing more appropriate or poetic than to finally chill that bottle she had given to me as a wedding gift and share it with her.  And that is exactly what we did. The morning  of my thirtieth birthday, I surprised her by presenting to her the bottle of champagne.  I had been waiting for a special occasion and the right person to share it with. It was the kind of poetic justice that I never would have imagined. 

And such is life. Life is poetically unpredictable.  I never would have imagined things to have turned out the way that they did. But when you have moments as sweet and unexpected as these, you have to learn to let go and have a little faith. 

It may not be what I thought it would be. I may not be the way I saw myself at this point in life. But maybe when we imagine things a certain way and want to hold on to those visions too tightly, we limit our sights for possibility. 

So for that, and everything that was, that is and that will be... I say I do. 

Celebrate 30...

Never too old to make a wish.


Let's celebrate simplicity and have a glass of Champagne.
This is the bottle...

Will always Love Nashville...

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